August 20, 2013

Scenes and Quotes I Hope To See In 'The Mortal Instruments: City ofBones'

August 20, 2013
There is just under four hours until the adaption of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones debuts in theaters! I put together a collective of my favorite quotes and scenes that I hope makes it in the film. Of course the plot points and twists is a must in every book-to-film adaption, but I'd like to see some of the minor details they tend to leave out. I realized I picked out mostly the comedial lines from the book. Some may be spoilery, so read at your own risk.

QUOTES

Jace: Somehow, I thought it would be bigger.
Clary: It's a perfectly nice size.
Jace: Oh, it's big enough, but somehow I was expecting something… you know.
Isabelle: It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl.

Jace: Is that the copy of the Gray Book?
Alec: Hodge has one. He showed it to me once.
Clary: It's not gray. It's green.
Jace: If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood.

Clary: Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginitively bankrupt.
Jace: I can't help it. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.
Clary: Your inner pain will be outer soon if you don't get out of trafic. Are you trying to get run over by a cab?
Jace: Don't be ridiculous. We could never get a cab that easily in this neighborhood.

Luke: Jesus!
Simon: Acutally, it's just me. Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.

Jace: Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurses outfit and give me a sponge bath?
Clary: Actually, I think you misheard. It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.
Simon: As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome.

Clary: It's so...dark.
Jace: You want me to hold your hand?
Clary: Don't talk down to me.
Jace: Well, I could hardly talk up to you. You're too short.

Magnus: Children of the Nephilim. Well, well. I don't recall inviting you.
Isabelle: I have an invitation. These are my friends.
Magnus: I must have been drunk. Come in. And try not to murder an of my guests.
Jace: Even if one of them spills a drink on my new shoes?
Magnus: Even then.
Magnus's hand shot out so fast, it was barely a blur. He plucked the stele out of Jace's hand and held it up.
Magnus: As for this, keep it in your pants, shadowhunter.

Clary: When the self-congratulatory part of the evening is over, maybe we could get back to saving my best friend from being exsanguinated to death.
Jace: Exsanguinated. That's a big word.
Clary: And you're a big--
Jace: Tsk, tsk. No swearing in church.

Clary: Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it.
Luke: I'm a werewolf. Not a golden retriever.

Clary: What are all these?
Jace: Vials of Holy water, blessed knives, steel and silver blades, electrum wire -- not much use at the moment but it's always good to have spares -- silver bullets, charms of protection, crucifixes, stars of David--
Clary: Jesus.
Jace: I doubt he'd fit.

Isabelle: You hate the Silent Brothers.
Jace: I don't hate them. I'm afraid of them. It's not the same thing.
Clary: I thought you said they were librarians.
Jace: They are librarians.
Simon: [whistles] Those must be some killer late fees.

Clary: How did you know I had shadowhunter blood? Was there some way you could tell?
Jace: I guessed. It seemed like the most likely explanation.
Clary: You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me.
Jace: I was ninety percent sure.
Clary: I see.
Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hand to his cheek, more in suprise than pain.
Jace: What the hell was that for?
Clary: The other ten percent.

Simon: I'll get the coffee if you find us a seat. What do you want?
Clary: Just coffee. Black -- like my soul.

Jace: Stay away from my blades. In fact, don't touch any of my weapons without my permission.
Clary: Well there goes my plan for selling them on Ebay.
Jace: Selling them on what?
Clary: A mythical place of great magical power.

Simon: Meanwhile, I wanted to tell you that lately I've been cross dressing. Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know.
Clary: Simon!
Simon: What? I'm not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn't very attractive woman, for her age.

Clary: I just killed a demon in my own house, and you're going to be a dickhead about it because I'm not some spoiled-rotten rich brat like you and your sister?
Alec: What did you call me?
Jace: She has a point, Alec. It's those bridge-and-tunnel demons you really have to watch out for--
Alec: It's not funny, Jace. Are you just going to let her stand there and call me names?
Jace: Yes, it'll do you some good-- try to think of it as endurance training.
Alec: We may be parabatai, but your flippancy is wearing on my patience.
Jace: And your obstinacy is wearing on mine.

Hodge: This is one incident I will not allow you to shrug off!
Jace: I wasn't planning to. I can't shrug anything off. My shoulder's dislocated.

Clary: Don't. I'm not really in the mood right now.
Jace: That's got to be the first time a girl's ever said that to me.
Clary: Stick with me and it won't be the last.

Jace: By the Angel. I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell. I'm not sure about this wind and howling darkness business. Smells more like landfill to me. You sure you're not from Staten Island?

Clary: Shotgun!
Alec: Where?
Jace: She means she wants the front seat.

Clary: You may be the only guy my age I've ever met who knows what bergamot is, much less that it's in Earl Grey tea.
Jace: Yes, well, I'm not like other guys. Besides, at the Institute we have to take classes in basic medicinal uses for plants. It's required.
Clary: I figured all your classes were stuff like Slaughter 101 and Beheading for Beginners.
Jace: Very funny, Fray.

Alec: You both have the same artistic talent.
Clary: Jace can draw?
Alec: Nah. I was just kidding. He can't draw a straight line.

Jace: Happy Birthday, Clarissa Fray.
Clary: Thank you.
Jace: I have something for you.
He dug into his pocket and brought out something, which he pressed into her hand. It was a gray stone, slightly uneven, worn to smoothness in spots.
Clary: Huh. You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock.
Jace: Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone.

Jace: In future, Clarissa, it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in your bed, to avoid such tedious situations.
Simon: You invited him into bed?
Jace: Ridiculous, isn't it? We would never have all fit.
Clary: I didn't invite him into bed. We were just kissing.
Jace: Just kissing? How swiftly you dismiss our love.

SCENES

Jace playing the piano

Clary slaps Jace for the other "ten percent"

Clary and Alec argument

Luke recounting the days of the Circle and the Uprising

The carriage ride to Bone City

Simon and Jace's "badass" nod exchange

Phouka faerie pinching Alec's "highly personal area" at Magnus's party

The breeching of Clary's repressed memories

Clary's dream of City of Glass

Just to name a few. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones hits theaters starting at midnight, August 21!
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